Google

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Area Man's Hair Feathered Like Wings of Majestic Bird

To enjoy this site as intended simply press F11. Pressing F11 again will return to normal.





CATEGORY: PEOPLE


Area Man's Hair Feathered Like Wings of Majestic Bird

Seattle- Kevin Imhoff, a 19-year-old Seattle cashier, has hair feathered like the wings of a majestic bird, it was reported Tuesday.

"I've never seen anything like it," Seattle resident Fran Kessler said of the young man's sun-streaked blond hair, which flowed back from his forehead in two gloriuos swoops and ruffled upward slightly behind the ear. "His hair is like a flowing river, sparkling in the sun and gently rippling the on the breeze."

When questioned about the glorious hair that rests on his head like the wings of Pegasus, Imhoff said he achieved the hairstyle by "getting one of those big combs and combing it back."

Imhoff then demonstrated his technique, removing a large-handled, powder-blue comb from his back pocket. He combed the left side of his well-kempt head, then the right, all the while skillfully executing the crucial patting motion. So stunned were the cascading results that many onlookers gasped.

"His hair looks as though the tail of a comet swept by and deposited a wispy trail of sparks upon the head of this young man," said Herb Crenshaw, a Seattle-based data-entry clerk present at the impromptu combing demonstration.

"That hair looks like the waves of autumn wheat swaying upon a gentle midday breeze," said witness Tina McMahon. "Or like the delicate, layered tail of a woodland animal bounding gracefully though the air."

According to Imhoff, the secret to his breathtaking hair is bang length, cultivated throughout his senior year of high school, and daily use of Flex-brand shampoo.

This growing period was a dark time for Imhoff, he said, as his hair was too short to feather, yet long enough to fall in his face when he tried to read car magazines.

But the commitment paid off, as his flowing waves of rich blond hair seems to leave a trail of sunshine everywhere he goes, making everyone in his path feel warm and at peace.


courtesy of "Our Dumb Century"








2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you have a link to this on theonion.com?

Tim said...

No, it came from their book linked already. (http://www.amazon.com/Our-Dumb-Century-Presents-Headlines/dp/0609804618?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1191472859)

I haven't written in this blog for years!! Surprised to see anyone commenting! It was a "practice" blog to see if I thought I could do it seriously or not. From there I started musicandrecordingtoolbox.blogspot.com and did that seriously but realized blogging is a never-ending catch-up game if you want to monetize at all. If I ever do blog again it will be purely as a diary for my own thoughts, much like the original intentions of "weblogs."